Social Experiments Are Just A Polite Way To Mess With People's Heads.

So, a friend of mine told me that she heard that girls who wear pink get asked out more than girls who don't.

I decided this would make a great subject for a social experiment.. and a blog topic.

Here we go.

First, I Googled it, because Google is a vast fount of social information:



I got quotes from Mean Girls, something about overcoming gender inequality, and an article about how even football players can look good wearing pink to support breast cancer research. Um, Peyton Manning could wear an entirely pink uniform and he'd still look good.
But that's a different subject.
To the right, you will see my Hulu tab.. I'm watching SNL reruns. Is it just me, or does Scarlett Johanssen stare straight ahead past the camera in every skit she does? She's like some kind of robot.

Different phrasing, maybe?




This one just brings up a bunch of topics asking if girls like it when guys wear pink. Isn't that the OPPOSITE of what I asked? You're not helping me, Google.

I turn to some men for help:



Sneaky bit: I didn't tell them I was gonna post it on my blog. He he he.
I don't know a lot of guys who will put up with this silliness from me, so my subject pool is woefully small. But here are my responses:

Subject 1:
"equally prob"
Ok, pretty vague, but still an answer.

Subject 2:
"I actually am attracted to pink. But only in the right form of pink. Raver and emo pink makes me vomit. Retro pink..makes me drool."

Now THIS I can run with. So what is 'retro pink', exactly?

Goog. (Sometimes when I want to be extra quick I just say "Goog", instead of "I'll Google it". It saves me like a quarter of a second.)



Ok, yea.. I'm picking up what you're throwing down here...

Then, a follow up from the same person:
"But the real question is, how do you want your male character to perceive this girl. Is she a lust object? An object of scorn? Or his true love?

I guess I can't pretend that in my imaginary scenario - strangers looking (or not looking) at a girl simply because of what color she is wearing - that she would be much more than an object of lust.
I explain that it's more of a general idea than an individual situation, then comes:
"In general, guys tend to associate color with sexuality. Pink is an inviting color."

NOW we're getting somewhere in the minds of these wildebeests. (BTW, I call my nephew a wildebeest too. It's one of my weird terms of endearment.) But then here comes subject 3.

Subject 3:
"Less to equally. Pink can be kinda boring and may cause a sort of unintended bubblegum demeanor, though it can be user-dependent, too."

Very, very interesting. Retro pink: inviting, hot. Cheerleader pink: vapid, boring.

Also interesting is that out of the 4 I asked, no one really responded that pink would make them more attracted, just equally or less attracted. Subject 4 must be working or something. No answer.

This was getting really fascinating to me, so I threw em a follow up:
(Camera batteries died. Use your imagination.)
"Is there a specific color that you personally find most attractive on a girl?"

Subject 1:
"Prob red or black"

Subject 2:
"To be honest, White... it's a huge catch for me"

Subject 3:
"Not really. Some people look better in brighter colors, some in darker."

I like these answers! These are some quality men that look past the outside and think about what's going on in the heart, but are still honest in the things they like and want. Love it.

When I started writing this blog today, I indented to actually do a social experiment on the public tomorrow, and see if I could drum up a little attention from someone random just by wearing pink so I could write about it, but now it seems too mean. And pointless, really. I don't actually want the attention, I just want to see if I can get it. And that's going a little too far, I think.

So I leave it at this: There are plenty of good guys out there that will look past the outside and are interested in matters deeper than the color of the clothes a girl is wearing.

Some of these good guys also happen to be my friends, and for that I am really grateful.

Thanks, wildebeests, for helping me out in my little social experiment. I love to try to understand more about the way you think. :)

Dreams That Will Not Die

Sometimes I feel like people shoot me in the foot and then become genuinely surprised when I can't run a marathon. It makes me feel so helpless.. my dreams keep getting crushed under the heel of someone else's ambition; by the actions of another, who, if confronted, would likely only deny it or justify their actions within themselves by saying that it is my fault for allowing such actions to affect me so.

It is my fault, for my actions are my responsibility alone, regardless of what may or may not be influencing me at any particular moment. But does that make it right for others to treat me badly? I think not.

I really haven't been sure how to get around it in a few situations, short of taking a completely new path, away from said situations. I just don't want to give up, to concede to failure.. but the more I've been thinking about it, the more I think that a change may be the answer in some areas. Forge a new path, away from the dream-killers and naysayers, from the ones who are not interested in investing in the dreams, and futures, of others. In other situations, battle it out.

Sometimes it's important to stand up and cause a ruckus. Sometimes it's wiser to find another path.

It blows my mind to see those within the church, particularly, sniping at each other, crushing each others' dreams. We are called to stand together and yet we keep tearing each other down, sometimes intentionally, but more likely through indifference, selfishness, or neglect.

We don't seem to realize the power we have when we unite. Sometimes it's so obvious to me, and yet I still lose sight so quickly, usually at the moment I let myself slip in my dedication to service to others. Namely, when I start to get too self-involved. These situations definitely reveal to me the things I need to work on in my character, as I often start to recognize issues in others because they are the same ones that need attention in my own life.

More and more I am experiencing the revelation that my dreams are not just gonna happen around me. Seems simple, but it's also easy to believe that I'm just gonna walk into them, that since good things have come my way in the past without any effort on my part, they will naturally continue to do so. Yes, God is a good God, and regularly drops blessing in our laps simply because He delights in being our Father, and acting like it. But there are things we have to do ourselves. Rather than waiting for "a door to open", we have to go out and start turning the doorknobs and see which ones are locked. Sometimes we have to go out and look for the keys, too.

Too much metaphor? Gotcha.

There are so many people out there who are only interested in their own good.. and will step over or on top of others to accomplish their goals. I would never, never, want to be a person who uses others in a negative way to accomplish their goals.. "using in a negative way" meaning simply that a person is damaged in some way by my actions in my quest. What I do want to use in people is their input, experiences, and advise in obtaining that on which I have set my heart.

So not only am I continuing to write out my goals and re-evaluate my progress from time to time, I am looking at each one very seriously and critically, for any evidence of abuse to others that I may have caused on my way. I know I can't change what's been done in the past, but I can try to make amends with people and make an instant and dramatic change in my methods, from this point on.

In all honesty, sometimes when I am hurt, I just long so much for an apology.. just a simple "I recognize that I've hurt you, and I'm sorry.. I won't do it again." I think this is a very human and natural longing, for reconciliation, and possibly some sort of validation. But apology doesn't always come, and in my heart I know I have to stop looking for it.

I realize that I really am alright with that.. though I do wish for it for time to time, I know it may not be forthcoming and I can have peace in knowing that I have done, and am still doing, all I can to make my footsteps right.

I truly believe that these kinds of situations are just a blaring warning sign for me not to get too close to situations where people refuse to even entertain the idea that they could be wrong, who cannot or will not truly lay their firm mindset aside and place themselves in another person's shoes.. such constant injustice batters ones resolve and is a damaging, heart-rending place to find oneself in. I'm done with putting myself in harm's way in this life for the sake of my ego, just so I can have some sort of friendship, relationship or, more likely, just someone's attention. I've done it before, and it's simply not worth it. The minimal reward in such a connection is not worth the damage.

Some days, I feel like I can identify with David when he wrote "Vindicate me, O Lord, for I have walked in my integrity. Examine me, O Lord, and prove me, try my mind and my heart." Obviously, I am not perfect and have not walked in integrity every step of my life. Far from it. But in many areas, I have made vast, sweeping improvement, and people around me don't seem to care at all, some even treating me more abusively than ever before. Which is incredibly frustrating.

But I don't want to focus on that particular injustice. What I really want is for God to constantly re-examine my heart and point out to me the things I need to change. I am thankful that He uses the people in my life to guide me, as well as speaking into my heart directly about such issues. I want to walk blamelessly, so that not only can people identify in me as an example of what God can do in a (formerly) messed-up person, but also as proof that it truly can be done. I'm not who I used to be! I am new and different every day.

So, sadness over this situation aside, I look forward to the future with extreme hope, as the fire for change and revolution burns brighter and brighter within me. I have such dreams raging in my heart, and I am anxious to continue putting them into action, bit by bit, one step, one jump, one flying leap at a time. I know there will always be those who say I can't do it, that my dreams are too extreme, that I am too disorganized, that I am too weak or small or insecure.

But that's simply not true.

Find me in a week, in a month, in a year, and we will rejoice over each others' triumphs. :)