Cars - can't live with them, can't live without them.

Cars require entirely too many fluids to run.

Gas, oil, transmission fluid, water, antifreeze.. blah, blah, blah. You name it, my car needs it. And half of the time, they are leaking out on the ground anyway, so I must ask - WHAT IS THE POINT?



I think that they should make one fluid that does it all - Superfluid! This magical substance would fuel and lubricate the engine, prevent rust, makes the windows not squeak, keep everything at the temperature it should be, and also give you a general sense of euphoria while operating the vehicle.
Hmmm. This is starting to sound like a controlled substance.

This is how my ideal-pretend-world scenario plays out:

I arrive at the superfluid station, where the attendant proceeds to fill the car up. It only costs 99 cents a gallon? Excellent! He then proceeds to check the air pressure in my tires, clean my windshield, and offer me a cup of coffee. He knows that I need the air pressure checked because I am a girl.

For some reason, the attendant looks uncannily like Daniel Craig.

Finally, I pay the incredibly low bill and go on my merry way! I drive away under a rainbow and a flock of doves scatters in front of me! A kitten smiles at me from the side of the road and a baby waves hello from its stroller!


Real world scenario:

I go to the gas station and as soon as I shut off the engine I smell the burning-oil smell I've become familiar with. The attendant comes over and I ask him to fill it. With regular, not premium, cause ITS 3.50 A GALLON.

The attendant looks uncannily like Kid Rock.

He lights a cigarette (!) while my car fills and I check my own oil. I pay the bill and apologize to my bank account, then drive on my merry way. A flock of blackbirds poo all over my car! A kitten runs out in front of me and I swerve to miss it, denting my wheel on a curb! A baby cries cause its mom left it alone while she ran into the sketch mini-market!

What? I'm being over-dramatic?

Ok, maybe in reality it's a balance between the two. But seriously. It's such a stress for me to handle it all, that all a man would ever need to do to win my heart is take care of my darn car for me.

Looking like Daniel Craig wouldn't hurt either.